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Monday, 12 October 2009

I know you, but I miss you. I know that I want you, but I can't seem to find you, to let you in.

Thank you to those who are there for me. I'm alone, but in the past two months I have seen who is there for me. I luv you my friends. I can't tell you how much you all mean to me. God's Blessings are good.

Tuesday, 08 September 2009

Old friends. New friends. Still friends. Still friends?
Not changing. Not changed. But why is it that we come to questions that don't have answers?
Not worried about my place. Not sure where my place is...
These are my profound thoughts. Is there someone..... to listen?
There is and you know who you are. I luv you and you are the one with whom my place is secure. But it's that void we've talked about, the void that you can fill.
So I'll wait. Wait for someone to fill what has yet to be filled.

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

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It wasn’t my plan. It too much to try. Here’s what I wrote.

I can’t do it.

I can’t be the one.

You have no void.

You have no hole.

You are the little

Made to be little.

I can be big,

But big is so hard.

I can’t do it.

I can’t be the one.

You don’t understand.

You don’t know the feel.

I have to be big

& I have to be strong.

I can’t do it well

When its pushing me so.

Try & I try,

but there are limits.

I’ve hit mine,

& I can’t explain why.

I want to be small,

I want to be held.

Why is it hard,

Waiting for just that?

You don’t understand,

& I can’t explain.

I’ve got to stand tall

To play in this game.

The game is to move

To grow & to learn.

It doesn’t slow down,

So you have to keep up.

I can’t do it.

I can’t be the one.

I can’t find the words

To tell you quite why.

I’ll give what I can

It will have to do,

‘cause I’m all out of going

So please take what I can.

The walls are in place,

Shake as they might,

They stand up

& keep as they should.

These are my words,

What I can explain,

Hidden behind is

My meaning in mind.

I pray that they hit you.

The meaning is there.

It’s not without need,

I write as I do.

The need is too deep,

The pain is too real.

I must keep it down,

For fear it escape.

Turn to my Father,

Ask I must do,

What be the answer,

Afraid what might come due.

So bury these thoughts.

Bury these things.

Hide them quite well,

I’ll continue to do.

Saturday, 04 July 2009

Why can’t I let it go?
Why can’t it be left in the past?
Why can’t I see it without hurt?
Why can’t I hear it without pain?
Why can’t I let it go?

What is there to do?
What is there to say?
What else but to go on?
What else but to put on a face?
What is there to do?

When will it be my turn?
When will I be held?
When will I have the silent kisses?
When will I have that unspoken love?
When will it be my turn?

Over and over again the questions pour out.
Over and over again the thoughts come up.
Over and over again I feel like my step is forced.
Over and over again I pray and remind you of what my heart cries out for.
Over and over again the questions pour out.

Friday, 19 June 2009

You can't do anything. I can't do anything. We are each standing on the opposite side of the room. I don't know where to go or what to do. I'm out of options. I'm out. I can't do it. I'm done.